Yeah I gave the girl a dirty look. And only a three dollar tip.
I'm pouring my heart out in these texts and you're going around showing everyone???
I just bought Christian paraphenilia at Borders for my dad's bday. I had the urge to tell them it wasn't mine, like I was buying laxatives or a dildo
Hahahaha. You probably would have been more comfortable buying either of those than what you just bought
Thanks for stopping me from doing a one man keg stand by myself clad in only a towel. that probably wouldve ended badly.
Yo. I have a shitload of cardboard. We have to build a smoke hut in the smoke room with a tunnel connected to a cat house. This way the kitty can join us whenever she pleases
The cop and I then joined forces to get you up off the sidewalk.
I've been living off of popsicles and broth.
...And then you kept screaming "cock mouth" in her face every time she tried to talk.
remember our old mantra: why can't life be as easy as we are?
I was just asked if I wanted to struggle snuggle. She's a keeper
"You can go raw dog up in me". Exact words. I can't decide whether to run, or fuck. Help.
It's getting to the point where my ability to get dick pix during the work day is impressing even me. Take that, adulthood!
You jumped into so many bushes for no reason
One eye has cum in it and the other has sunscreen
summertime
I am that special "drink water and be grateful I'm alive" kind of hungover
Randomize
