i'm sure her mom would have loved to find out her daughter has herpes via facebook
I either date the nice guys or the assholes. There isn't any in between.
You need to find a taint.
no morals, dignity, or self respect ... just an empty condom wrapper and a facebook request
Once again you get dinner and all I get is semen on my leg
Todays lesson: Chew your food better when your drunk. I almost choked throwing up this morning.
Cleveland boys shit in their own pumpkins in their own living room. Got pictures to prove it.
we used the bottom of a tampon for coke since no one had a 20 on them. My life has resisted to this.
You know you stopped at a liquor store to prepare for a 12-year-old's birthday party, right?
I gave him 3 xanax and recorded the ball drop. He's gonna think tonight is New Years.
I think, at this point, getting pissed and declaring my love via reality TV would be an improvement
I AM THERE IN SPIRIT, TICKLING YOUR BALLS
We are both federal employees and Obama gave us a four-day weekend to lie in bed. Do you know how many orgasms that will be? I knew there was a reason I voted for this guy.
She's legally too young to drink and was making out with a guy who is ethically too old to drink.
I'm totally going to bang the cable guy tonight. I'm so pumped
It's hard picking what to wear when you know the plan is sex. Like can't I just wear my robe let's just simplify this.
Randomize
