I'm talking handstands, sex in broad daylight, waking me up in the middle of the night. CRAZY
handstands? WTF?
she was a gymnast
go to hell.
You need to find a way to go down on me and lick my toes at the same time
I'll google it
im sitting in a tub with a sombrero on.. im just kind of confused.
And i didn't ask you to do that, You showed your penis at your own free will.
You have permanently scared my back with your nails. I would like to congratulate you on a job well done.
Champagne is a vitamin, right?
I have stripper ass cheeks all over my glasses
Well, I'm at the grocery store wondering whether I exist or not.
Just high enough for therapy.
STOP WHATEVER YOU ARE DOING AND GO OUTSIDE RIGHT NOW. THE MOON LOOKS LIKE CATWOMAN
The only downside to doctor sex is that getting choked with a stethoscope leaves marks.
I had a sex dream about Fox Mulder, and the Royals just won the World Series. My life is complete.
My boobs are hoarders, they steal food and hide it. Greedy bitches.
I had such a bad bruise on my knees from blowing him so much, he asked if he could sign it...
I just called my kid butt plug. Does that make me a bad mommy??
This may be the most diplomatic thing you've ever said
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