I am at a 420 party and i just told a girl "hey, less not getting donuts, more getting donuts"(1-855): and did she get any doughnuts?
No. I am devastated
I am not hooking up with him just to see what his penis looks like.
If your 8 lb baby was ham it would serve 6-8 people
Clearly, I'm already going to hell, so there's no point in trying anymore.
she peed on how many people?
all she had left on were here heels. phone five
He just brought me a wine glass. Full of Tequila. Ignore any texts after this one.
My first drink last night was a 2-liter of jameson and coke. So hung over it hurt to put my pants back on
Dude. I'm busy doing PR for America. FOR AMERICA. Europeans think we can't handle liquor.
She's trying to put on her dog muzzle on her self
DOUBLE NIPPLE PIERCINGS ARE HORRIFYING
I am luring the porn star to my house with chicken!
Dude I got in an Uber this morning and he goes “I drove you last night”\n“You got your dick sucked in the back seat”
We turned his nipples into a drinking game.
I wanted to make my beer stronger so I poured vodka in it. Why god....why
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