Bitch is talking to much, howd u ever get her 2 shut up?
It's worth it.
How worth it?
Back door worth it
if i get killed by an online date, its your job to tell my parents that we met at church
at first I thought it was funny, but looking at it now, it screams "dramatic" and "medicated wipes."
Need a ride. Apparently screaming about the bartender's erectile dysfunction gets you kicked out.
you puked out of a dead sleep and didnt wake up
Just got a message from a guy on a dating site who says he helped me remove lime pulp from my eye in a club toilet 2 weeks ago.
we hotboxed my bathroom. with nine people and two dogs.
For Valentine's Day I've purchased six lighters and I'm decorating them for him. I'm on a full ride to an art school and this is what I'm using my talents for. An intervention is needed. Please stop letting me date stoners.
Puke, feathers, beads, and solo cups all on my way to class. I'm surprised anyone's alive after this weekend.
Aaaaand my mom is wearing jeggings...
YOU CANT FOOL THE TOILET
he just fluffed my hair and told me I had to dance with him because we were both gingers.
Fly, little bird! Repopulate the ginger race!
We sexted for four hours straight. Is this really what my life has come to?
Fuck the library it's too quiet and makes me uneasy. I feel like I'm so isolated I should take off my pants or something
I'm cuddly bitch. Deal with it.
Randomize
