Last night this chick queefed when I was going down on her. Thinking if you! xo
i just wanna skin you and wear you like last years versace.
you may have the big hair, fake nails, and talk with a fake accent, but you will NEVER be a housewife from new jersey so STOP TRYING.
i just learned how to squirt via google. life is good.
By connection do you mean me drunkenly grinding my ass on his lap for an extended period of time? If so, then yes, we had a "connection"
Checked out the free sonogram van on campus and got a free DVD of my sweet food baby.
the teacher just ate a hash brownie and passed out on the bus best field trip 2010'
I really hope that wasn't actually his first time. Because if my first time was anything like that I would NEVER have sex again.
I'm bleeding from my lower lip, and I have bruises around my neck. It was just easier to say I got mugged.
Her vagina smelt so bad I lied and told her that I was married just so that she would leave.
You were trying to swim on the floor while eating a hot-dog bun and laughing about how much you hate bread and didn't understand why you were eating it..
Someday, but I will be heavily drugged and there will be no dolphins.
We called dibs on each other's genitals. That bond is unbreakable.
Last night, I listened to Aladdin on my ipod while I stole bread and cheese from Wal-Mart. I feel like you're the only one who'd be proud of me.
U know this is gone far when im in the bathroom trying to take a pic of my asshole
So many people have told me I have great tits tonight, I'm unstoppable
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