You're in luck. The brownies don't even have butter, just vege oil
Not a fireman, but good enough for last night.
I did something stupid with eggs call me when you get up. Cops were also involved.
you dont want to live with me, im always naked, a chronic masturbator, a bit of a voyeur and will likely touch you while you sleep. ps- i can pick locks
He is like that thing on the menu you would eat because nothing else looks remotely edible.
I wonder if i passed any courses from last semester
You should come over. I am making a celebratory I got laid by a huge penis cake.
just found a bag of Oreos in my purse labeled "emergency".
I may or may not be wearing slippers and a TMNT hat. This thing better not have a dress code.
I guess I'm open to more types of dick now
I think it's a scientific achievement that I can make jelly that is 95% vodka so suck it up.
It was a fun night! I woke up with a boyfriend, again....
What started out as a one night stand ended in him texting me the next day, saying he thought he was gay.
Man the amount of drugs being done at a wedding with a bunch of surgeons was disturbing
I’d clean the kitchen before making food. Mark “rang in the New Year” with some rando in there last night
Randomize
