well i did feel guilty about it. until i saw how hot the guy was the next day. now, nothing but pride.
I'm gonna get drunk and through up on the first happy couple I see.
Wydf in so deruk i just dowwned a packet if salt waitibg for food at del taco
did you know that if you have sex in the elevator on the way up that people can still get in?
I dunno. The only plans I have for sure after finals are smoking a bowl and eating a 5 pound gummy bear. btw I bought a 5 pound gummy bear
Well, I'm getting my ex-boyfriend to get me a z pack to cure the chlamydia I got from my married fuck buddy so that I can fuck one of my students.
Correct me if I'm wrong, but did you let me pee in the grass while barking? And also, how many of you have videos?
You ever got drunk on $5? Cuz it's about to happen
Koalas always seemed like really high little puppy kittens to me.
On Wednesday I'm putting wine in a water bottle and crashing Margaret thatchers funeral
hi, I love you... and I'm sorry your floor is covered in popcorn, your cabinet is broken, all your alcohol is gone, you're 80 dollars poorer, everything in your bedside table is soaked in beer, austin slept in your bed in those disgusting underwear, I made out with your toilet seat, and for talking to your mom with a four loko in my hand
LISTEN TO ME! DONDE ESTA LA FUCKING VICODIN!
look, bitch. one day when everyone i care about deserts me for my severe moral depravity, you're going to be the only one i have.
i can't wait.
I am still worried she'll have a seizure durring. What would I do? Try to ride it out and finish, or pull out and assist?
I told him that he could either pay the 10 dollars for the box of condoms or I'll make him pay for the diapers.
Randomize
