1:57 a.m. Where did you go???
1:58 a.m. What are you doing? I want to go home with you, why aren't you responding?
2:11 a.m. Heading back to your place now, will you let me in?
Yes give me all the cream and he's gone
I called her a whore. 15 minutes later she gave me head at arby's while i was eating a roast beef. best afternoon ever
I woke up this morning really drunk with my Christmas lights on and two owls in my bed.
its totally unfair that im just as ill-prepared as a 16 year old but there's no tv show for 25 and pregnant.
Give me a few hours to remember what being sober feels like.
He's got a wife and three kids but I'm into being that mistake.
I will always remember that night by waking up in that tablecloth the next morning
So someone just pointed out to me that during dinner, I mentioned more women that I'm attracted to than men. The transition might be complete. I'm gay.
I found a picture of me as a little kid with nothing on except a towel covering one of my nipples and I'm glaring at the camera. Literally nothing has changed except I have boobs now
Ah well. Drinking wouldn't be drinking without mystery bruises
Agreed.
That moment during finals day when you either convince your teacher to let you out of the room or you shit you pants.
Im playing a game I have to take a drink every time my gram asks me the same question hammered by 4 guaranteed...
Once upon a time I threw up in my own hands last night.
She was crying and pulled the collar of her shirt up to blot the tears. And then she just kept her head there. And stopped crying. "My boobs are just too amazing for me to cry." her words not mine please help she's still in that position
Randomize
