If there's anything in this world better than hotboxing in the rain I haven't found it yet.
Agreed
don't tell her this, but while we were doing it doggy style I picked up my phone and changed my status to "who let the dogs out"
I should just wear a shirt that says "Im Sorry" on the front because the second we land in Vegas, I'm going to be a fuckin trainwreck.
As a side note, my abs are sore. Most likely cause? Orgasms. Thank you.
He fell off the roof... he clearly has not been preparing for summer.
New term. "Find a husband" fridays. It's like thirsty thursdays, but with a dowry.
If it's any consolation, I've been sitting in the hallway in assless chaps for the past thirty minutes
There was this blissful moment of peace and quiet... then you ran past our window with a lit firecracker in hand going, "SHIT. SHIT. SHIT!"
He said he wanted to sit next to the fountain so he could "watch the water hit the other water".
And, omg, my eyelids are on fire. I think the internet let me down. :(
All I want is dick and wine.
So, I gotta figure when the nurses at the emergency room noticed my new hair cut it means I'm there too often, right?
doc says my ankle might be broken, they're going to do xrays. He asked me what happened and I told him if he could find out that would be great.
He's throwing Skittles into my cleavage and some are rebounding into my crouch.
Well he's scoring either way then.
Once my new license was put into my hand, a light from the heavens shined down and pauly D's voice was in my mind saying ohh yeaaah 21 yeaaah
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