Pussy?
how
Wat do u mean how?
I dont remember anything after Tequila & Apple Juice. May have disovered the recipe for mental bleach.
Pretty sure I just has te same conversation as you. He suggested I get, sell, and fuck the hoes, and once all was said and done, that I should refer afforementioned hoes to him, to perform felatio.
1. I feel like Jello 2. The girl i hooked up with last night isn't here and a different girl is lying next to me. 3. I have no clothes on 4. Can guys go on walks of shame?
Pretty sure that this text will cost me like $5 but just wanted you to know that I just smoked a bowl of kush, about to walk around shopping for hookers and i get 3 credit hours for this study abroad .... have fun studying for finals.
Just spent a extra 20 minutes on the phone with the lady from unemployment talking about how to make the best brownies.
He kept singing Happy Birthday to himself, yelling at the bouncers for not letting him in, and telling them his "father will hear of this." He was like a drunken Scottish Draco Malfoy.
He started french braiding my hair while I was blowing him. The question is not why, but how.
I'm spring cleaning all of the fuck boys out of my life.
I'm gonna cum garlic butter
it's like he didn't even know what a vagina was
How ironic... opening your legs for closure.
That's just how I roll. I drink, then tell people I'm either not wearing underwear or I'm training to be a stripper.
Listen, i know this is weird for you, but as your fuck buddy, id prefer if you didnt fuck her.
Youre asking too much from me
I’m appalled by how severely I lower my standards when I’m horny & impaired
Randomize
