And mexicans. My burrito likes you.
Ha i know. My vag can't go too crazy for a boy halfway across the country. It doesn't have that good of range
just so you know, your brother isn't driving home wasted tonight. he is, instead, in my dorm shower screaming about rubbing his butt with my loofah; thought you would be proud
I think it's a friendship ring and the other part is on his cats collar
thats it. im teaching my cat how to use a fire alarm
WHITE RUSSIAN WEDNESDAY. TELL YOUR CO WORKERS. INVITE QND PREPARE
She still cant shoot whiskey?
Im having serious doubts about this relationship
Nothing says walk of shame like leather pants in daylight
This american gymnastics guy.... He just messed up. I feel so bad. I just wanna hug him until he stops crying. Not even in a sexual way. I just wanna hug him.
I had to ask. I mean when you get a snap chat of a nipple you have to ask who's it is.
You threw your body across the gross couple hooking up on the couch and demanded they scratch your back. I love you drunk on peach schnapps
Oh shit that's not good dude. I'd head straight for Williamsport hospital the first ingredient in that shit is lithium batteries. You don't want to know what the second one is
I ate so much cake that I can't even enjoy a blowjob
That's the most first world problem I've ever heard in my life.
The REAL engagement ring is the jeweled butt plug.
We were playing fuck marry kill and he was eavesdropping so I said I would fuck him
It was like catching dick in a barrel
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