that thing about your dad's boner was meant to be a compliment
I just sneezed and it tasted like taco bell.
This morning I saw a frozen puddle in front of my RA's door and I laughed, assuming someone poured water in hopes that she would slip and fall. That's when my roommate told me I had peed there last night. Thank you Captain Morgan!
His shopping cart was nothing but malt liquor and zucchini.
You kept screaming "Its taco night!" before every shot
we made it to hole 3 and then just sat down on the fairway and finished off our case....cheered on other golfers as we let them play through.
Find out what day classes start and I will come down to Richmond that weekend. Any broad who claims to be 18-21 will be promptly ID'd. My job has trained me to spot a fake from a mile away, and I don't need a statutory rape charge.
It wasn't really sex. It was just rolling around, trying to make sure his dick didn't end up in my ass.
The only way he could ever pleasure me is if he lit himself on fire and let me watch
Not sure how but he broke three of his fingers while giving a blowjob. How does someone that accident prone survive to adulthood?
Excuse me while I take my birth control pill for today to prevent getting pregnant from hearing about your sex life
I should not be able to sum up my life with a taco brand motto...
Make sure you wash your hands. That seagull you threw was very sick.
Just got up.... With the club stamp on my ass.... How did it got there????
I just spent 30 minutes plucking my 2 month grown out pubes with tweezers so I’m hope your night is going better than mine
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