So.. My internet got red-flagged at work because i did a search on "midigit strippers las vegas" This may be hard to explain...
well, if it werent for her you wouldnt have gotten a handjob in the middle of the bar. so, maybe you should thank her too.
i no longer feel bad for not doin my schoolwork. im watching a porn in french. this MUST qualify as studying.
I don't think i can handle my uncle say again that kid rock is a true musician....
i just had to use the keg as a stool to reach the margarita maker. i'm such a problem solver.
Okay wait let me power puke and then we can go dancing
ill be fine wheb you get back. I'm gunna do real world things like washing the dishes. having to perform serious tasks brings you down.
I had to watch them play Salty Cracker. I have never seen a grown man cry with a boner before
Then again, I'm single and napping with a stuffed yoda doll...so I'm not the world's authority on shit.
I asked the full emergency room who else was there because of homecoming and every single person raised their hand
My cell phone fell out of my shirt pocket while tying my shoe on an escalator....which was followed by me being accused of trying to sneak an upskirt photo and being violently shoved down the top of the escalator. How's YOUR day?
I'm still me, I just happen to have things in my porn library that you may not have expected
Only you would come out as bi like that
They are like the regular squirrels and we are flying squirrels
Let's make this a nightly thing. You'll explain the Watergate scandal like you're telling me a bedtime story while I eat popcorn high as fuck
Dude come over...were drunk and I'm holding a T-shirt gun and discovered beer cans are the same size as rolled shirts.
Randomize
