I was amazed that you fell flat on your ass and still managed not to spill them drinks in your hands. Your getting good at this.
Between cock and motorcycle I'm glad I don't have to sit at work tomorrow
The pride tent is doing free lube tastings. There is also a mechanical bull.
YOU DID DRUGS AFTER A THREESOME WHO ARE YOU TO JUDGE ME?!!?
Rolled in at 3:30am from the strip club, with all the screaming I did, Siri doesn't even recognize my voice this morning,
How was the party? Lets put it this way: "He wants her dick" was a factual sentence stated last night.
Okay so for future reference and your own safety I should probably tell you that it is not cranberry juice in that bottle on the kitchen table.
I believe in using alcohol to heal from the inside. Not as a topical solution.
We get drunk and make out in different places. Is that what love is?
I just want to braid flowers into his hair and steal all of his pills.
Guy fieri is speaking only to me. We make eye contact. My whole body is vibrating. My head is purring. I am literally marbles.
We are the best cocktail. We look appealing, taste amazing, and ruin lives.
Hey how're your balls?
Don't ever let me helicopter again.
The report specifies "melted cheese food" as the cause of the burns. Your pride, like your cock, isn't getting out of this without heavy damage.
Slept in and having coffee. No sounds of whipping and no veiny dildos next to me. This is good. How's your mornin?
Randomize
