we need to find that guy that whips out his cock at the bar again
I'm literally partying with O.J. Simpson's son right now. I don't know what to make of this.
You think they'd ask my permission before turning Pajamarama into an orgy. I saw too many of my friends dicks at once the door got kicked down.
He won't let me have sex with him, but feels bad if I won't let him get me off. It is the weirdest, best, most confusing pseudo relationship I've been in.
Sent him a picture of my pregnant boobs from last year, think he'll notice the difference?
Basically she credited me and my dick pic for boosting the moral of all the Safeway workers
I woke up with gum stuck to my nipple piercings this morning.. So there's that.
He just texted me asking for his shirt back and I said I didn't have it and then I ran into him 5 minutes later while wearing the said shirt
Hey, I'm just seeing how you're doing and letting you know I fucked your dad last night. Don't fuck with me.
I love her so much I can forgive her for wearing crocs
YOu just turned down my vagina. Something must be wrong. Vegas changed you!
Everyone needs to leave the house so I can use the good vibrator without being judged.
He is saved in her phone as Sir. Mindfuck <3/ vag cleaner of course I need to meet him.
Never thought I’d use my computer science degree for teledildonics, but here I am
I'm sorry I get my lefts and rights confused because I'm dyslexic. But, it took you at least 15 minutes to figure out it wasn't your room OR YOUR HUSBAND.
Randomize
