Friends don't let friends fuck ugly girls. WALK AWAY FROM HER!
Family of uber douches all wearing ed hardy in a hummer taking up 2 parking spots at starbucks. Please be more cliche
Woke up with string cheese braided into my hair- literally braided
My goal for tonight: make tomorrow as awkward as humanly possible.
She wore that goddamn strap-on all night. When she was playing guitar hero it kept getting in the way but she just wouldn't take it off.
He said "I wish they sold 40's in bars".. and a business plan came to mind. Maybe I CAN do something with my degree...
You're gonna die alone anyway. Even if you do meet a man, they die earlier than women. Best case, you have to deal with grieving over his death and then die alone a couple years later. Worst case, you get a terminal illness and he divorces you, leaving you to die alone anyway.
Thanks, mom.
Out of everyone here, the sober one caught the cat on fire.
He was talking up his golf swing like other guys talk up their dick. Is this adult dating or just another flavour of douchery?
When confronted with a choice of going home or fucking the band ALWAYS FUCK THE BAND!!
I'm just waking up. I awoke in a towel (I must have showered at some point),i also found a half eaten McChicken in my bed and vomit in the toilet. Seems like I'm winning at life
Well it might’ve been because you asked to play What Makes You Beautiful at the club
We got to the hospital and the girls who caused the accident had already added you on facebook.
I party with great urgency now.
when I found u, u were using a t-shirt for pants
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