Hey when you come over to pick me up in the mornin bring a camera. This is going to be legendary. Don't knock.... They might cover up
It was like my butthole was peeing. Felt comforting yet not fulfilling.
Straightened my pubes. My dick looks like John Lennon fucked Gonzo.
You threw up in a Dixie cup last night. Oddly, you just gained major points in my book for that.
I have beard burns on my inner thighs. I'd say last night went pretty well.
You Were screaming "Im trying to get it in" and "stop cock blocking" while i threw you in the car
Haha you were definitely messed up. Let me know if you need anything
Could really use a time machine and a higher self esteem, in that order
i had a threesome. one of the guys used to bully me in high school too for being gay.
Ummmm you know you're drinking vodka out of a Skittles bag, right?
I was going to say that I wasn't sure how that happened... but then I remembered that I bonded with the Australians over vitamins and INXS and they bought me tequila.
My next goal in this relationship is to teach my boyfriend that there are valid reasons to be fear of dolphins completely.
I love everything about him! His penis, his hair, his tattoos, his penis, his cat, his penis.
i think the people from taco bell are onto us. they had my order ready today at 3am BEFORE I even got there.
That butt dial turned into a booty call.
You know he wants it bad when he starts going door to door for condoms.
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