he just asked if i would like him to change his diet so his jizz tastes better. keeper? i think so.
Probably should plan this out. Step one: grow stache. Two: get trenchcoat. Three: Kidnap Selena Gomez.
I had better be fucking involved with step four.
I just saw fred flintstone in my fruity pebbles!
what drugs are you on?
none, cept for the pain medication i got prescribed by the doc: it said 2 pills every 3 hours, but I took 6 cuz i'll be away from home later
Pls don't use the words alligator, purple, and sperm in the same sentence ever again.
i'd date him for the sole reason that he thanks me after giving him head
I doubt the Taliban would support fake nipples.
She came in to my room half naked at 3am asking me if I had seen the movie balls deep 7
Found out that no one else got Christmas bonuses...and you said nothing good could come from sleeping with my boss.
She has a facebook friends list called oops. theres 33 people in it. she said its all the guys she regrets fucking.
Don't lose. A little bit of my soul dies every time a beer pong game is lost.
I tried to have a quickie with him at the company happy hour. I think I need to quit my job.
Hey know anyone who wants 58 lbs of whole frozen chickens for a couple bowls?
Everyone got an underage but her
How'd she get out of it?!
She hid in the FUCKING DRYER
God gave you your own nipples for a reason.
I cant wait to tell our kids we met because you subscribed to my onlyfans.
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