i saw like six of her guido cousins in the jersey shore trailer alone. her family is having a dinner party for the premiere tonight.
I am like king midas for the gay community. everything I touch turns into a lesbian.
So, do you know where my left shoe is? I mean, we were at a few places last night, and I called them. No luck for me.
No, i went to get it done but the guy couldnt find it. exhibit A of why i wanted a clit piercing in the first place.
This santa hat i wore to the bar, served it's dual purpose as a vomit bag.
You and Eric are like slutty bowling balls, and that poor family are the pins. They won't know what hit em.
strike, motherfucker.
I feel like having peed on eachother is a point in our lives we should never have gotten to...
I'm in the power napping at parties stage of my life
First you say "it can't get any worse" and the next thing you know you've shat yourself on Christmas Eve.
So this is completely apropos of nothing, but I have a feeling that a friend of mine might be a good match for you. Can I set you two up on a date? Oh, and it seems that we live a block away from each other and aren't having sexy times. This is ridiculous. By the way, there's a chance that I might be a tad drunk. Still though, there's a very *good* chance that you and Mr. X would get along.
She just got on the scale. frowned, got off and took off her pants and then got back on
For someone who wanted a break I'm getting way to much dick
Have you ever seen death before? Bc it's me right now in yesterday's clothes.
I swear we were drugged last night
We had a 130$ tab bitch. We drugged ourselves.
At Target. Everyone is stocking up on food and flashlights for this storm. I stocked up on beer. Dont judge me, it was on sale...
Randomize