I wish I loved anything like you love Tequila.
I'm so high I just tried to eat a hair tie thinking it was one of my pretzels.
you were drinking a pitcher of what you called "16 loko" and making everybody guess what the secret ingredient was
Just KTHXBAIed an old man for staring at me
The polaroid of me taking a test-tube of Jegar out of the gay guys mouth pretty much explains my trip to Spain.
Curse you and your alcoholic milkshakes.
You're welcome.
Hahaahaah I keep finding little notes you left me on my physics notes... "TOO HIGH FOR BIRDS"
I'm proud of you, you were pretty classy last night, you didn't puke AND you didn't take off your shirt, except for those two times in the corner.
Dude that's beautiful. I've never heard of someone smoking with their bunny.
I feel like I have a connection with him. A marijuana-induced-spiritual connection.
So after taking my shirt off, he pulls my bra off like a hockey jersey. FUCKIN PRO. Guy knew what he wanted.
Who breaks their ankle the day before a beach wedding? This guy. Maybe this is karma for fucking someone's wife? Idk.
are you listening to the theme from Jurassic Park whilst pooping?
I don't particularly remember setting a firecracker off in my hand. No more tequila.
He has a bear rug in his room. I'm going to ask if we can have sex on it. Wilderness sex.
i could only love him more if he was covered in glitter.
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