Afterall, it is the real San Francisco treat
I have a pretty basic diameter of my vaginal abyss. I'm sure it won't hurt.
went to the bathroom to piss, saw puke in the toilet thought wtf i dont remember puking, then turned around to find a chick i've never seen before passed out in my shower.
So I went out tonight...met a guy who slightly resembled my dad,huge creeper, he asked me to "hang out" so I gave him my moms number since he was more her type:)
How do you politely bring up someone's criminal record?
I learned an important lesson this weekend.... I'm way to good at sex to travel for it. From now on he drives here...
I am currently sitting on a candy bar to warm it up cause it was in the fridge so I can eat it while watching the last song and smoking weed by myself
I FUCKING SERVED PEOPLE AND POURDED JUGS AND GOT FREE BEEEEEEEERERTERRY
Whos eating a bunch of acid and watching fireworks tomorrow? This guy. Thats who.
You made a course evaluation for your vagina? Wow. You really are a professor now.
I'm basically flying you out for a long weekend of sex and going to the zoo
I'm cool with that
I literally cut myself out of my pants. What is my life.
are you drinking tonight?
I have an exam tomorrow
so yes.
Try me, you 5'5 gremlin
the person she was housesitting for had a christmas card from charlie sheen on the fridge so we fucked on the couch and just slept in the bed
Randomize
