butt plug
anus plug
rubbish cock?
yes
you suck at this game today
I can't watch pbs sober anymore
You have more facebook pictures than most towns have people.
I accidentally screamed the wrong name last night. He stopped for a second, said "fuck it, you're too hot to care," and then continued fucking me.
What happened to chicks over dicks?
That rule does not apply to 9 inch dicks..
Like, I just want to be naked rolling around in soft things.
I think I just wrote a poem about your penis but it was totally unintentional.
ok thanks goodnight
Also before you go to bed i just have to get it out there that i really like macklemore as a person
People were staring and acting all judgmental and offended... Like they've never seen anyone breastfeed in a liquor store.
If Anthony Weiner can get in trouble for sexting 2 or 3 girls I dunno how politicians will make it in 10 years.
Lol I would vote for a guy that is trying to be a senator that has a viral video of him motorboating a topless chick
I feel like I spent all day wearing underpants made entirely of poison ivy and sandpaper
My boobs keep hanging out of this shirt. I think thats the style I'm going for tonight
My phone autocorrected "shhhhh" to "AHHHHHHHHH" and I feel like that says a lot about my life
A friendship for the ages born on how horny we both are
so I just realized.. of my 70k student loan debt, most of it went toward bar tabs, eightballs, and sweet-ass ties to wear to gamedays and other people's weddings. I think about shit like this while I'm at my mid-level management position. you know. "working."
Look upon your future, America, and despair.
Randomize
