It's 8:30am and I'm drinking.... this is a new low
It was the single greastest thing to happen to my dick ever
I woke up with the wrong plaid-shirted guy in my bed.
I'm returning our mountain of beer cans, while wearing a Budweiser sweatshirt. i don't look like an alcoholic.
vagina is talking i cant
Right before he passed out, he said "Stuporman, coming in for a landing"
Well last time he got out of rehab he lasted 6 hours. So 3 days this time is quite an accomplishment.
Definitely sounds like it's time for some eggs with a side of strap on
Fuck you come back. The old guy next to me is complementing me on my great choice of ring fingers,
that is terrible, if I can't drink Gatorade when I'm hungover I don't wanna live in this world. that's like denying wild rams to run free in the wild and frolic
We could have mediocre awkward sex or mediocre stunted/awkward/uncomfortable banter. The possilities are relatively finite
I'm not winning any crowns in the Miss Emotionally Stable pageant either...
Dude, do you think he'd be pissed if he found out that I always reference him as my starter husband?
i told you i was taking the Metra Train, and you asked what type of drug that was.. so yes i believe you when you say you were fucked up
You were filing your nipples with a nail file to "make them sharper"
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