this is like her 8th guy since december, is she wasn't frumpy people would call her a whore
would it be rude to tell a homeless man that he should sell the lebron jersey and brand new nikes he's wearing if he's really that hungry
I call biggest shit show at the party. I welcome all challengers.
So many stories. To uyou are sober. I heart you though. Jesus. Dirrty dancing jusyt came oine!!no. Lie.
Not only was there cake on the wall but someone shoved cake and meat in a cup and put it in the fridge.
I really need to find a new way to reward you other than head scratches, nutella and blowjobs.
Woke up with a full plate of KFC next to my face. I didn't really question it.
On a scale of 1 to "bad descision", where does stealing my racist neighbors dog and giving him my roomates dildo for a chew toy rate?
It's like god touched my soul and said 'you will be great in bed'
You need a twittervention. You're better than this.
You could be a whistle.. And just ask bitches if they want to blow you all night
Come over. But instead of sex, will you rub anti itch cream all over my face?
Shit on my own feet while puking from my hangover. Is this what 33 is supposed to be like?
Btw, remind me to tell you about how I had to cancel my crazy wild sex plans with Will b/c my roommate came back from his trip after a day b/c Canada wouldn't let him in. Fucking cockblock.
Actually that's the whole story. You don't have to remind me.
Nothing says "sober up, you whore" quite like an early morning PAP smear.
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