So they call this "a walk of shame" but fuck that...this walk is fantastic. What kind of debbie downer came up with that name?
I'm drunk enough to talk Barbara Walters outta her panties
Just found out my mom tried to sue the birth control company when she got pregnant with me...love you too mom.
Oh no it's bring yor chld to work day...I'm too drunk for this
I may be Daddy's little princess, but doesn't mean I can't be the blowjob queen.
Found her. Shes unconscious up against the room door. Her credit card is in the keycard slot
I mean it's not my fault he had a floor mat that read "put out or get out". What was I supposed to do?
Missing both credit cards and just had a flashback of grinding my nuts on the terrified cab driver for amusement. i am feeling a slight hate for myself right now.
Its not that I don't mind giving her as much as my penis as she wants, its the post sex cigarette I have to supply. Shits $9 a pack.
Put a tip jar next to your bed from now on.
Your good ideas are reason #4 we need to live together.
I have got to stop letting people hang ornaments from my nipple ring.
Tis the season.
MIDGETS
????
Waiting on the notification from my fitness pal that tells me I'm an alcoholic
I would also like you to tell your human bio class that I successfully smoked out the flu. 103 degree when I woke up yesterday. 100degree after one bowl. 4 more bowls and 16 hours later all that's left is a cough
wait you fucked a guy who wears k-swiss? seriously?
I know, im living my 7th grade dream
i want to say his dick was in it but not his heart
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