perhaps when you are drinking red wine from a tall glass with a straw it is time to call it a night.
And no, shaving doesn't make it look bigger, either
THEY SHOULD WARN YOU WHEN THEY MAKE JELLO SHOTS WITH JACK DANIELS!!! THEY SHOULD WARN YOU!!!!!!!
Hey man, did I leave the bottom drawer to my refrigerator that I had beer in at your house by any chance?
He lectured me about the dangers of drugs while wearing a sombrero and doing interpretive dance.
I mean besides the fact someone got stabbed, I still had a pretty good night.
But first time having sex and he went down on me twice?! I'm gonna marry this guy
I'll make sure to include that in my bridesmaid toast
Thats not what we're looking for. I want this kid to suck a lolly pop out of a stripper's snatch.
I don't understand why she gets annoyed by my drunk texts. It means she's who I'm thinking about even when my brain isn't functioning properly.
Also, did you really start discussing the weather in the middle of telling you my sexual fantasy about you?
I don't care how great the sex was, I cannot unsee what has been seen. I regret ever stalking his Facebook.
COCAINE IS GR8
If he thinks I'm canceling my orgy to coddle his stupid fucking behavior, he has another thing coming
If you think I'm going to drive 5.5 hours just to bang a guy, you'd be absolutely right.
She fucked a bartender in a closed Applebee’s and has the nerve to call me easy
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