Ok im wearing a joe flacco jersey and full stick on unibrow and hardly anyone else dressed up omg
Omg suz!! take the unibrow off
No! im just getting hammered instead
We just found a handle of vodka in our fridge and no one knows how it got there. God I love spring break.
ya i found him eventually. hes the only one who drinks guiness so I just had to follow the darkest green puke trail
update. expensive tequila only makes the mistakes more expensive.
But i guess when you use blowjob as a verb you are entitled to some language allowances
Just so we're clear. I'm still making jello shots and bringing them to the bar in my purse. I don't care if its half off margaritas. Don't want anyone thirsty
Learned a valuable life lesson last night. It's titled "Tequila: Still A Bad Idea".
Men are not even allowed to look at you without a condom on.
please tell me we weren't that bad as freshmen
i can't, we're worse now
He sent me a text from across the party that said "your sexy." I just couldn't.
You kept saying "this bitch", mumbled incoherently for like 5 minutes, took a shot, and kept going.
You're the only person I know who would go to New Jersey to give a blowjob and I have so much respect for you for it
Please come check out theses cougars grinding on a pole. I feel like they're showing us up and we need a duel stat
Did you hear about the guy wearing a spiderman mask running around naked with a bottle of patron?
Yeah.
I was spiderman.
My roommate's overnight guest is screaming about the dog licking his asshole. I need a new place to live.
Randomize