Ugh, here's a dating tip. Hairy legs are a major turn off
It was literally the size of a half eaten tic tac.
He had to pee in the sink beside my head because the girl that I was taking care of was passed out on the toilet. To answer your question: yes i took a peek. Thats why we hooked up later.
We've already decided our costumes for next Halloween. She's going as Cookie Monster and I'm going as Elmo. She's just going to ask for Oatmeal Cookie shots, and I'm asking for Red-Headed Slut shots.
Dude, its January.
We're going to do the voices too.
Just charged fat mistake $3 for a beer.
Just bought a breathalyzer and Sharpies, guess who thought of a new drinking game
230 lb girl across the train from me is giving a dude in a kilt a handjob while he sits in her lap
Do me a favor. Next time I think it's a good idea to take pulls from the handle, yell "FALCON PUNCH" and uppercut me in the taint. My future liver thanks you.
I HAVE A GENTLEMANLY VAGINA.
He looks like he was the one that always had koolaid stains around his mouth as a kid, he can fuck off.
We are all yelling at the cat at our apt in nothing but our underwear. How do you think it's going.
I've never been this drunk around this many toddlers
sending my old camp counselor nudes. childhood memory win or new low?
He's here walking around DRUNK AS FUCK in a Kobe Bryant number 8 jersey... Tucked in.
If I told the doordash driver it's national nudity day, think he'd still report me for being topless at the door?
Randomize
