she was talking to me but i could help but stare at the extremely long hairs on her boobs. then she says, "your looking at the hair on my boobs aren't you"
At the bar dressed as a taco. not a typo. Come down.
Dude, she introduced me to her best friend form Russia and she was a 10. Her other Russian friend was even hotter. How did communism fail?
We shoved chex mix between her tits for her own survival.
I'll just dance on top of the ping pong table, and if it's stable enough for that, then it's stable enough for sex
Well I'm 85-90% sure that he licked syrup off my body, but no guarantees...
I'm assuming the reason my elbow is so sore has something to do with all the broken shot glasses eh?
Yep
But I swear to god if I'm awkwardly there while you try to have sex with someone again I'm getting high with your dad
Ugh. The fucking vaginal recession is so real right now.
I'm disease and pregnancy free. This is an Easter for the books!
You dove at him but passed out mid dive. Shame it wasnt a costume party your superman suit wouldve been clutch in the situation
We were making out and truffle butter was playing in the background. I stopped mid make out session and said, "I'm really sorry but I have to rap Nicki's part."
Idk I've taught my 18 month old how to say nipple so kids aren't all bad
Why the fuck am I at this dorm meeting? I don't pay $50,000 a year to stay sober.
enjoying your night?
do dogs like to salsa?
I dont know if that answers my question or not
Randomize
