at some point to night u and I have a 'meeting' too...(1-737): I hope so
oh God, I have a dick of a middle schooler
saw you walking with that piece of shit
and that piece of shit just read that
By connection do you mean me drunkenly grinding my ass on his lap for an extended period of time? If so, then yes, we had a "connection"
Just checked my bank account while shitting blood. Neither action felt good when I was done.
Using what I learned in my global terrorism class last semester to sneak booze onto my cruise. thanks college.
Woke up chewing my pillow from a dream where I was scarfing Cajun pasta from TGI Friday's. That's a new level of fat, even for us
Ok seriously I'm living off of bologna but I have 4 handles in the freezer.
Im sitting on the exxon bathroom floor, idk if its healthy but it sure is cold
He woke me up at 3 am, turned me on, then changed his mind. There is no way he is getting out of twilight now.
he said he needs a little more pabst, some time to jack off and a sandwich and he'll be ready
Oh yes there is. Now I'm the sad one. Please organize my life. And I will demoralize yours.
Why did you fed-x me a peanut butter sandwich?
It seemed like the thing to do. There's popcorn on it too.
STOP smoking sooo much weed. Damn
I'm super disappointed in my clit.
We smell like vodka and hangover
Randomize
