i blacked out hard core.. it was bad peeeed muh bed
and in the morning, while we were eating breakfast, she was all " i think someone sneezed into my shirt..." she'll never know.
Yea. But u kept saying "as long as she doesn't have aids" so I was concerned
hey you forgot your wet suit in my room you can come grab it whenever
Apparently blowing a .28 for a cop and then kissing her on the mouth is technically assaulting a police officer. Who knew.
Lol. Awesome. Seriously though, I need you focused next year. We're gone have a lot of drinking and stupid nonsense to do, and I don't want dumb shit like responsibility to get in my fucking way.
Obama's speech on in 9 mins. Me in the shower now. Naked. Make your choice.
I'm bringing the tv in with me.
Let the vodka take you where it will. Like Pocahontas, but wasted
You are COMPLAINING that the sex was too good. You're not getting any sympathy from me
She said I had a really great aura. Which I think is hippie code for "I bet you can give me a mind melting orgasm"
Now accepting any stories about my adventures last night, in particular why my knuckles are bleeding.
I can't decide if this outfit makes me look like a pirate. I also can't decide if I care if it does.
I'M GOING TO FUCK AN ENTIRE ORCHESTRA AND NOTHING CAN STOP ME
The band club does not count as an orchestra
A respectable fucking: good but like I don't want to get kicked out of my hotel room
The beauty of getting kicked out of college again is I can fuck my professor's brains out and she can't get fired now
Randomize