I admire the strength of friendship we have that allows for sharing husbands.
I just made out with a girl with a life jacket on wtf is going on
Ok love is a little strong. But he consented to Nachos, beer and board game date with my cats. Keeper.
Mark my words im gonna be the drunkest groomsman outta spite for him having his wedding on a gameday
I can't wait to find out the true size of his penis! Please maintain enough sobriety for an accurate report.
Did you just say he wants to put a baby inside me?
I've got beer and a bag of saltwater taffy and croutons, is that enough for this typhoon thing?
So what exactly does one do when my driver gets a DUI and is now arrested and I'm still hiding in the trunk?
Seriously, I look like I crawled out of a bog. Succeeding at being as undateable as possible.
Exactly. Stay back and unsubscribe from her
WHY IS THERE A GOLD FISH IN MY BONG??
This is like the fourth time this month I've woken up hungover in someone's backyard
Today I made my parents proud-spent the afternoon floating around in their pool drinking beer-which I would ask my nephews to get for me out of the fridge
Apparently last night I was doing back bends for the guy making my easy mac because clearly it wasn't easy enough for me.
i dont know how or why im in the gym right now, but theres a hot cop, a guy i hook up with, and his hot friend. this can only lead to every fantasy i ever had.
Randomize
