No dude, you can't hot box a bus shelter.
New game: find the sober person in Tbell
She sent me a pic of shot glasses on fire if that tells you anything
He needs to respect me before he can fuck me with cat ears on.
He got violent drunk so we have to untie him in the morning. He's in your basement and you're out of electrical tape. Don't forget because I will.
Dude, seduce him with cookies. You almost turned me gay with scones. Don't be surprised when they get you laid.
I might not remember all of last night but I clearly remember the part where I humped the mailbox.
I'm not asking you to commit. I'm politely asking your penis to be my friend.
I don't know what's worse the the fact he has worn a protective cup for last 3 years in fear of being kicked in the balls. Or the fact that the one day he decides to throw caution to the wind and doesn't wear it and actually gets kicked in the balls.
Who in tha hell do u hang out with?
I just need to stick to one night stands and delete social media
you said you wanted to call me grandma and give me hugs
I just started talking about how noodles were so good
I just had a visual of u banging and screaming at him at the same time.
It was like Lady and the Tramp, but just tramp and the tramp. And instead of spaghetti and meatballs, we had whiskey and cups
Is it too much to ask to have a life partner who has both male and female sex organs that looks cute and sounds like a female Antonio Banderas and likes to get weird?
Randomize
