Someone shit on the floor
That's why girls suck all the time. Blah blah nag nag drama drama buy me things but I won't touch your penis
I just negotiated a blow job for an interview.
When I came in she was screaming "boundaries!" at the cat because it was trying to eat her pizza rolls.
And I was aware of my actions - that is not a penis I will say no to until I have a ring on my finger
You know how most people would take your keys when they don't want you to leave a party? Those 2 girls aren't most people. They took my pants instead.
Just promise me you wont die... or hook up with an old asian lady playing slots
Cant promise that last part. I won't die though
So I'm at that stage in my life where I am stalking my stalker just to get laid
I'm tired of being known as the Great Giver Goddess of the Almighty Pity Bone.
I'm tired of the topic. I sent him a pic of my vagina to change it.
What are the chances I get my period 2 weeks early just as welcome week starts. My uterus is conspiring with my dead catholic grandma
He said did you just interrupt me midsentence to admire another man's penis?
I am now "wine pairing" tums flavors with my strongbow, because apparently hard cider gives me heartburn.
I just bought a blender and 120 pizza rolls. Bring tequila.
I will fuck anyone who brings me mcdonalds right now
Randomize
