ohhhh fuckk. chicks a dude.
I was being carried out of the bar, but then my friend saw Pat who just got kicked out scaling the wall to sneak back in, so he carried me back in, sat me on the bar stool, and the bartender just let us all keep drinking.
Being persistent has its perks my friend.
He had to pee in the sink beside my head because the girl that I was taking care of was passed out on the toilet. To answer your question: yes i took a peek. Thats why we hooked up later.
She took off her pants and it was like seeing an old friend.
Dude, the cops never think it's as funny as you do.
he described going down on me as being like 'entering a jungle of deliciousness and fur
Walking in to my alcoholic Assessment meeting with a black eye = 40% awkward 60% awesome
Is it acceptable I'm laying in bed drinking airplane bottles?
In our world? Yes, but I'm disappointed yoiu are wasting airplane bottles. Save them for sneaky occasions
Maybe he'll be famous someday and I can forget that anything embarrassing may have happened and just say that I fucked that famous guy.
She just came home holding a fire hydrant. Yes a fire hydrant.
I may be bringing home two guys tonight. I'f they won't go for a double-team you can have the lanky one.
The sweaty, naked apartment dance party wasn't complete until I threw the whole jar of glitter on us. It was like the icing.
I almost put an adult beverage in my sippy cup for the beach but realized the next step would be rehab.
No the next step is being buzzed at the beach. I would've.
I just felt emotion and I'm not okay with it
Best news I’ve heard all day. Cookies and dick. What more could a girl ask for?
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