We just watched planet earth in marine bio. And our prof told us that was all we were doing on 420
Canada: barely better than America at a sport they invented.
He said I taste like butterscotch, licked me, then I'm pretty sure he wet his pants. So no, I do not want to invite him over.
Alright, so what's my next move? I already posted a Milli Vanilli video on her wall
Writing apology letters and leaving them on peoples doors for your actions is NOT what I want to be doing at 6am.
I mean, I know going to rehab probably didn't make her a lesbian, but I can always hope
"I'm in the bathroom. Only place I can sit and relax without that girl trying to give me a lap dance."
My last 2 google image searches were 'a lot of pudding' followed by 'a generous portion of pudding'
The police report said "I asked the suspect if he had any identification. He replied yes and gave me a Pizza Hut gift card"
Just walked by a girl saying to her friend "honestly you coulda given me any dude and I woulda fucked him"
You should've introduced yourself
So what you're saying is that The Magic Kingdom is ruining our plans to get laid?
It finally happened. Some guy just tried to catfish me with my own dick pic. Of course I told him that it was the hottest dick I'd ever seen and that I would do anything for that particular dick.
I think I had Hypothermia but was too drunk to notice.
I just didn't expect to have anal in a retail store at 9 AM on a Tuesday.
We did blind alcohol taste testing and she got 10 of 10. I'm in love.
Randomize
