so that girl updated her facebook status as "had the worst night ever last night"
um, i could be wrong but i think it might've had something to do with mark drunkenly screaming about her unibrow right in front of her
Ryan Ross and Jon Walker left panic at the disco today.
I predict a mass suicide of the 14 year old girl population...
I wish his dick was as long as his hair.
At what point are you a chubby chaser or just desperate for sex?
i've learned that i'm good at stealing things. like live cats.
the repo guy said it was the first time he'd ever started to repo a car with someone fucking inside of it. he might have said 'doing it' instead.
i think i swapped my keys for drugs last night
Boys that pee in my bed don't get happy birthday wallposts on facebook
Woke up naked on your sister's mattress lying next to a single slice of bread.
I can't wash the smell of tacos off my hands. I feel like the Lady Macbeth of Chipotle.
I have never thoroughly inspected the geometry of my nipples until now. How do I fix this?
I'm just trying to win a butt plug dude
I learned a valuable lesson about combining day drinking with malt liquor: you may think you have super powers, but that's just the Steel Reserve talking.
Oh god it's open bar.
I woke up and saw that my last google search was "Bacon neck".
Randomize