Well that's not true. She had two social skills. She kept them in her bra
My life has literally become a dickpocolypse. Thank you, summer, I missed you.
hey as creepy as this sounds i still have your eyelashes on my desk
Playing hide and seek with all those cheeseburgers... Not our finest moment.
Do you know how hard it is to get cum out of a straw hat!?
My dick was out way too much saturday not to get laid
You know it was a good weekend when; you leave a bi-lingual letter of apology on top of a stack of cash for hotel housekeeping.
You are mentally unprepared to be exposed to my degree of perversion.
Um...celebrating is an understatement. You flashed the guy at the mexican restaurant and then screamed, "It's just my bikini, I swear!"
I am laying in your bed and just found a bottle of wine under your pillow ...should have married you...
I refuse to be socially acceptable any longer than what is needed to pick up chinese food.
At first it will make you think "how is this physically possible?" and then it will ruin an entire food group for you.
My sister just poured me a dbl Ciroc on the rocks and said "the ice makes it festive." Honestly what a role model.
We ran out of toilet paper so Ive been using coffee filters
You said if the geese can walk on the lake so can I.
Randomize
