so the car was packed with everything from my dorm, plus my mom. during the 6 hour trip home she found my kama sutra. started flippin through it.....
oh shit that had to have been awkward
i thought so too. until she asked what the check marks were for
you were having sex in the bathroom so i pee'd in your bong water...
It's almost like sex with her has gotten boring... like it's still good, but the creativity is lacking... it's times like these that i wish she still wanted me to gag her
hey dont come home for a while, moms drunk and is telling the story of 'how she met dad at that orgy' again
Oh, I made pasta salad in the throw up bowl. I hope you don't need that for the next few days.
when i first looked at you, you weren't wearing any pants. but then i realized you had them around your neck as a cape.
i'm just sitting here watching hocus pocus, eating takeout, and taking self esteem quizzes online while everyone is out partying. you tell me how my night is.
I have a test in the morning in sign language about signs for drugs and alcohol use. Im drunk and rolling a blunt. I've never felt so confident about a grade in my life.
If I had cancer, and got to make a wish, id make the organization force your dad to fuck me.
My attempts to make you laugh have failed exceedingly. Naked snap chats it is
You both ran and jumped into the tub yelling Jamaican bobsled team
When the strippers start dancing to Christmas songs it's time to get the fuck out!
I don't want sex or anything I just really need someone to appreciate how shiny my hair is
I had the choice between 9 burritos and 1 girl...
And...?
WHY ARE THE COPS ALWAYS AT DENNYS WHEN IMDRUNK!?
Randomize
