Lady next to me is getting american flags airburshed on her nails. god bless the ghetto.
His facebook says he is a fan of "underwater handjobs"
I keep having to talk dad out of putting tequila in the milkshakes.
She just tagged pictures of you wrapped in the "above the influence banner" like a toga.
despite the cops showing up at 8am, pre gaming groundhog day was my idea yet. and by pre gaming, i of course mean getting black out drunk by 7:30am
Thanks for the viagra you gave me last night. I ended up getting called in to work to cover a shift. So I had to tell Kayla that I couldn't hang out and I had to try and hide my dick all night while walking serving people food all night.
That awkward moment when the dude you blew on camera in college friend requests you on Facebook.
Who is this?!????
That awkward moment when you think you're texting a friend the above statement, but instead you text a stranger.
Zak is like the Picasso of masterbatory texts
Kellie accidentally ran into the car with two teenagers making out. made a big thud. there was a loud scream and she was gone...haven't seen her since
He's tying my arms above my head and all I can think is that I should've shaved my armpits
Church parking lot, park bench, front porch. I think she's more comfortable going down on me in public. May have found the one.
I'm willing to share. He can have sloppy seconds.
I need a light and a towel. ive got cum in places ive never had cum before.
I just had to pick up my "let's drink and make bad choices" hat, my banana suit and beer pong table from work. Until just then I couldn't figure out why I got fired.
We still on for Manwhore Monday?
Randomize
