Have fun fixing the bed from last night Bob Villa.
At least you didn't call me Brittany this time
so we had a 20 minute conversation and created the fb page WWND (what would Nana do?) last night after we took our Ambien...that is my definition of an overachiever
All I remember about walking back home was that I maced my shadow.
I don't give a shit about soccer but I'm really excited about drinking at 7 in the morning
Everytime I sleep with him he gives me another hint to what his tattoo means. I'm like a slutty Nancy Drew.
he's measuring my pool to see how much jello powder he needs. He got paid today.
You told me you aren't worried about the police that you've been training for this an that the last three months of your life have been devoted to building up your stun gun tolerance and pepper spray recovery time.
Bad behavior is like a petri dish that grows organically In my heart
That awkward moment when the guy you hooked up on spring break invites you over for dinner to meet his parents and you say yes because the first rule of college is never turn down a free meal.
THE SHIT YOU GET YOURSELF INTO
If I win the contest of drinking the most water I get a chicken nugget.
Just specific performance'd my way into her pants. I literally said specific performance and that shit worked. Thanks B. Law!
I renamed some of my contacts in my phone before passing out and I have one I cant figure out, its "fucking house elf scum"
its 11:20. i'm drunk in class flying paper airplanes for my final. what the fuck is my college experience right now?
I'm with the cops, Trish's gay husband stabbed himself and is framing her for attempt of murder and I'm dressed 4 the club I'm wearing leather pants leather jacket leather boots and black club top. Embarrassed
How naked do you want me to be?
Randomize
