Dude, my boy c***** and I hooked up with Asian sisters last night in the same room
Then I put on blue by Eiffel 65 and security showed up and yelled at us for being too loud. Also, they stopped fucking because no one can fuck to eiffel 65
We should takd a huggy cab to snuggle bunnyville
Apparently tackling a bar stool and crashing to the floor while yelling for 6 shots of whiskey won't get you thrown out on St Pattys Day.
Police were closing down the bar due to gunfight and I was crying because they wouldn't let me finish putting temporary shamrock tats on my boobs
Well no need to be a stranger, even if you aren't interested in joining my bisexual polygamist marriage. New city, new friends.
1. Are there men involved 2. Is there food involved 3. Do I have to put pants on 4. Do I have to leave this bed
She clicked her fingers, said "here boy!", and pointed at her vagina.
Stoned in a petco on a Saturday. I figured out that ferrets can eat themselves out. Just picture it. Never leaving.
That basically sounds like the worst party of my life, and I'm including my brother's World of Warcraft themed birthday party.
I just took three of the most beautiful hits of my life. As elegant and smooth and delicate and graceful as figure skating
I think I used my NERF gun during sexual roleplay. Need to re-evaluate my life choices.
Next time you have him paint you an outfit so you can do you walk the street naked TAKE A SHOWER BEFORE YOU GET IN THE BED. MY sheets look like like an acid trip
Nothing like being naked and confused and clutching a scented candle...at least I woke up in my own bed though.
I answered the booty call in my Trophy Wife cutoff and my ex-boyfriends sweatpants with a bottle of jager.
and how was that received?
Remember those neighbors I thought were FBI agents? Turns out they're DEA.
Randomize
