My gyno actually laughed when I told her about his penis size.
its easy. just sleep with a bunch of guys until one falls in love
Sam Adams makes it so easy to keep track of the seasons.
i've lived in the woods for so long, as long as its post-op, i don't care.
in the 'for' section of the check i put "when we got drunk and broke things". again im sorry.
My boss just gave me full permission to come into work wasted this weekend.
Just a heads up: The party is Fourth of July themed. Spread the word
dude its may
Work with me here, man.
she's throwing a head of lettuce everywhere shouting HEADS UP and trying to get us to play catch with her. i'm scared.
As one final fuck you to the courthouse i'm paying the rest of this ticket with sacajawea coins.
Remember...the emancipation proclimation is your favorite document, you love asian women, japanese food is the tits, and you willfully employ as many latinos as possible...
after i talked him through a bulleted list of why we couldn't have sex he just said "but it would be fun...."
I just tipped the cab driver with pistachio nuts. And he loved it.
Batchelotette party success. I woke up on the floor in nothing but a thong, a garter and a shirt that says Just Do Me.
i just called my dad a bottom. he agreed
I'm just saying, if you haven't been dropped off at a Wawa at 5:30 in the morning by 3 cop cars, you're missing out
Randomize
