I wish I could test you the smell I just had to experience. It smelled like this lady was microwaving squirrel rectum.
NEWSFLASH - my freind is drunk and admitted that he hates having sex with dogs. should i help him or let him be??
He also left me a wonderful voice mail..... and is now asking me where the planters peanut guy is.
You should probably go find him.
she went to pee and i could hear her singing "Drip Drip Drop LIttle April Showers" from Bambi through the door.
This girl in the gym has an amazing body...too bad there's no workout routine for a face.
The National Anthem was on so I had to have a beer
Everything tastes like Lysol. Am I dying?
Things I can say. There is a photo of me pouring whipped cream into a midgets mouth.
If you could come over after class and poke me with a stick to see if im still alive id really appreciate it
I have a 16 minute video of you talking about your life. We are calling it your Anthology sponsored by Steel Reserve
Every single person in NY is either baking, drinking, or photographing their cat. Reporting live from Instagram.
His penis looked like how I would imagine Satan's pinky finger.
When she tells her friend, "hey I'll be back tomorrow, just going to fuck a guy", right in front of you, you know you've got a winner.
I'm so high. I'm going to need directions to get home.
You know it's bad when I'm eating a cold chicken breast alone in bed 😕
I'm literally watching a webcam of the Vegas strip right now and it is making me sad.
Randomize