So explain to me again how you wake up next to a Brazilian model and I wake up next to a turkey sub? And a jar of grey poupon.
found POGS while I was cleaning my room this morning. Definitely bringing them back to school to turn into a drinking game.
doing lines of blow through a tampon applicator in the study lounge at 7am so i can finish an italian composition that was due a week and a half ago...such a good student.
I wish i had more things to dip in ranch... That's the most stoner thing i've ever said
Yea...coming from the girl who didn't understand why m&ms and tequila wasn't a "suitable diet"
Why are all the dvds taped to the fish tank. Really.
Judging by the hole in the wall by the door, the mis-matched shoes by the door, and the door hanging off one hinge... i'd say he's on the loose.
Definitely Got caught hugging a strangers tree last night with 5 others.
I found your wallet in my underwear drawer......... Don't worry I don't plan on asking any questions
I feel like he better crank it up to level RG IV tomorrow. It's the fucking playoffs.
First thing I find in the car I just pick up from my grandpa? A discount card for the strip club down the road from his apartment. The force is still strong.
I'm bringing home frosties. I need to talk about butt stuff.
You know it was a good dinner party when one of the guests broke their finger and no one can remember how it happened.
I'm eating cold pizza from work and drinking beer from a wine glass trying to decide if I want to shower or just rub one out and go to sleep. How have I ever gotten laid?
Because you're really hot before taking the time to actually get to know you.
Puked up breakfast after doing my first minze shot in a while, but that shot was to Trump losing the election, so it's all good.
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