Gordon Ramsey's restaurant in NY is $150 each for the chef's menu
So you're taking me there this weekend?
oh, looks like he just opened a new restaurant right by us- it's called "McDonald's". Must be scottish food.
So my graduate coordinator is possible gay man. I may have just found the easiest way to a degree ever.
Good plan b, put your number on all your forms. Hello gamefull employment.
Take that integrity
you mean i was at the winter classic?
Fucked her within an inch of her life. Seriously. Don't choke bitches when they ask. Was way too drunk to be pulling that shit.
after taking her first shot and having her first random hook up she finally feels like she is ready for college
she has no idea
she could've warned me his penis was curved
ya i dont think she expected you to get with her boyfriend.
FYI, your girlfriend is on her way to the ER. She tried to balance a bottle of jack on her chest. Smashed toes, blood all over patio. Call her, kinda funny though.
drinking ice water after you brush your teeth, is like Antarctica blowing a load into your mouth.
I think we can all agree that the size of her boobs, combined with beer, is destroying my ability to judge looks.
You gave your boss a bj to get the safe employee of the month award?
I asked to see his balls for medical purposes.
I like to be the stable force in your otherwise chaotic existence.
I'm reading the Hobbit in my blanket fort alone with a bottle of wine... all I need is dungeons and dragons to complete this superfecta of awesome
I rewired his car so that every time he hits the gas the horn and the OnStar turn on every time he hits the brake the panic alarm goes off.
But you''re still having sex with him. And a hobo convinced you to.
Randomize
