So just to get a feel for things...how prone are you to male Amish strippers...
Why the fuck did you text me at 4 in the morning telling me not to have sex with the bird?
The police report said that there were 25 cases of bud light, two hookers fighting in the street, 13 cop cars, and two road blocks, a kid got tazered, another got maced, and over a hundred people in the house
So that means its a bad thing that your dad found it huh?
Sneezing blood is a good thing right? Medically speaking.
Hahaha my philosophy professor just opened class with "I had a shitty weekend and I was at the bar until 815 this morning. So bear with me".
If I was 5 years younger and single...
She STILL wouldn't fuck you.
We're all just looking at each other quietly, hoping that no one brings up last nights shenanigans.
You had sex with a mute, how is that not funny
As I read your response saying I need a tan before I can become a go-go dancer, a girl cane up to work and gave me 10 coupons for 100 days of tanning for a dollar.
This is fate. You were destined to be a stripper.
You very well can't change your mind now. It would upset the natural flow of life.
It gave me the St Patrick's Day nickname Slutty McShitfaced. I've never felt so understood.
I knew it was you who came home last night because no one else would walk in at 3 am and start microwaving a burrito
he stopped mid makeout and said "can I pray for you?"
If I could steal your goatee and hide it under my bed to keep your from wearing it, I would.
You were crying hysterically
So that's why my heels were in the oven...
Well that didn’t go as expected.
I mean, it ended in you giving each of them a blowjob, so it kinda did.
Randomize
