All I did today at work was try to remember in vivid detail what your cock looks like.
I HAVE A PRESENT FOR YOU AND ITS NOT MY VAGINA
Does it count if I'm only ambidextrous while masturbating?
I have so much shit FLYING through my head. They're all in magic carpets and everything
I can't leave your house without my underwear spending the night.
Men are not even allowed to look at you without a condom on.
Just found out that guy A from the threesome I had is now dating guy B's younger sister
She was grinding on him and then she was eating a Big Mac. Who the hell brings a Big Mac to the club?
I'm really glad that we can be casual hook up buddies. This is a true friendship. Now, please convince your roommate to do the same. Thanks.
i want to have awesome sex and feel fuzzy.
When she said "Tighten your safety belt and hold on!", that should have been a clear sign to me that one should never go off-roading in a rental car. On the bright side, they were able to tow her car out the next morning.
I'll say this one last time. You are TWENTY FIVE YEARS OLD. You are not going to die alone and this is not the twilight of your life. Stop taking shrooms on your period!!!!
I downloaded the presidential playlists for offline listening. And Obama made a night one so we have presidential approved fuck jamzzzzz. Thanks Obama!
My vape juice got mixed up with the astroglide.
Wow..I bet that tasted bad.
Not tasted.
I'm unsure if I could pee myself at this point in my life
Randomize