I'd be more interested in girls if they were more interested in anal.
its like she was born with a silver dick in her mouth
Smoking bowl and applying to community college. I now know how I got here.
ok so hold on... from what i hear... thank you... i'm sorry... and your welcome.
That's cool, I just have to let the dogs out AND SO HELP ME GOD IF YOU TEXT ME BAHA MEN LYRICS WE ARE NOT FRIENDS.
Having him as a wingman is like telling the girl you already have aids
So stoned i forgot i was in bed
You sternly pointed at him and declared that you would ride his cock until the early dawn.
Then, you ate a turkey sub, went into his room
After I'd been making out with her for a good 15 minutes some guy yelled "grab this chicks beer she needs both hands!" And he was right I did need both: god bless jello wrestling.
My one night stand just messaged me and said he is praying for me...
the amount of 23-year-old guys who have seen me naked is starting to get a little worrying
I woke up to Elf. I don't know which one of you put that in my DVD player when I passed out but I appreciate you.
We're friends with benifits... The benifits being I'm fucking her boyfriend
Its okay I found my bra. ...it was on your cat. I wont ask questions.
I don't have a cat..?
Damn. Looks like nobody I know is doing anything interesting. Guess it's another slut-it-up-with-strangers sort of night.
Randomize
