Whssdazt areerg yiu up to? U thijk ur lame!
read your last text- its a foreign language-im not ignoring you, easyyy
he whispered in my ear that he would be upstairs and i should come up. i stayed downstairs. he came back down and repeated to whisper in my ear. this happened about 5 times until he passed out.
just mention it in a side comment sometime today... like oh by the way i have a daughter but um yeah my day was good
Living well is not the best revenge. Fucking his brother is.
You've eaten a Lean Pocket for every meal for at LEAST 3 days now. Get your life in line.
I think he finally resigned to the fact he could not get off. He just looked at me and said "I'm having testicle difficulties," rolled over and passed out.
We've been here 3 hours and the only 1 word answer she didn't give was the drink order. Don't think I'm getting laid tonight
All I heard was "I swear it'll be funny" and then we were in jail.
No she stopped screaming. Now she's eating popcorn. Off a plate. With a spoon.
Just got a picture message from my sister of the two of us wearing cowboy hats and pressing our bare asses together. Do you remember enough to explain?
I don't remember its real name, I just call it the Harrison Ford Cush after that idea with the Indiana Jones mask. I should just get high and sell people my ideas for their Halloween costumes all the time. I'd make a fucking fortune.
You said that my dog would "complete your puzzle" then you got naked and took it behind the bar
My mom just covered me while I peed in the street. I love her. i also love parents weekend.
I'm going to write a new song and call it "Did I wax my vagina for this?" remind me to never go across the country for a penis ever again.
First contact since we had sex and it's to get my HBO password. I sure pick winners huh
Randomize
