***** fucked a guy with one hand last night
You think the Elephant Man ever tried to pick up chicks claiming all his appendages were elephant-sized?
all ten of us were sitting in his room with the lights off and staring at his colorful moving screensaver for two hours. That high.
So am I a slut for not remembering his name after sex last night or not recognizing him in the cafe today after he told me who he was?
Wheres my essay?
You mean the vodka drenched shreds of paper taped all over the walls of the hallway?
So I hear you're taking over showing your penis responsibilities now that I'm gone?
His mom already thought we were lesbians BODY SHOTS WERE JUST NOT AN OPTION SORRY
You Just stopped dancing, looked at me and said "I'm gonna make it rain" Then shook the open box of crunch berries everywhere.
Relaxed was like phase 1 of this phase 7 high
You think you know everything because you're wearing a sweater
but I'm still not sure how you became more and more fluent in Spanish the drunker you got
So what's your itinerary for Amsterdam?
Show up, get drunk, get laid, try not to miss my flight home.
I mean, I already saw his dick in person and wasn't impressed so why is he sending me a picture of it, anyway? I hate re-runs!
We just broke up and deleting his dick pics is the hardest thing I've ever had to do.
Sorry my phone died. Obviously four o'clock in the morning is a good time to tell you this.
Randomize
