there are so many fish in the see you have left to fuck
he started drinking at 9am with grey goose and pancakes. He IS my hero.
I feel like shaving is just admitting i'm gonna do him, even though im still on the fence
shave. it'll take 10 min. Better safe than hairy.
the ball fondling will be left out of the trip recanting
Dude this stripper just dry humped the settings off my phone. She earned that dollar
I think the duck is in my room. You have no idea how much worse a duck makes a hangover
Because you stood over the Ice luge screaming STONE COLD and poured beer on everyone
It's always a good night until the penis tattoo makes an appearance
I never thought I would have to put a band-aid on my penis.
I'm sorry I called your mother a reasonably-priced receptacle.
Showed up to the airport to find my fuck buddy is on the same flight. Do you think he'd be intertested in the mile high club?
I'll do whatever I want when I'm 80.
If you are still alive at 80 I demand a medical explanation.
I was eating pickles straight from a jar, contemplating doing something productive. What did I miss?
You poured all their beer into ziploc baggies so it would be "better on the go"
the raccoons are back...
Randomize