How do you wash franks red hot sauce, whip cream, grapejuice and shame out of silk?
I would just throw it away. You cant just wash out shame, it has to soak for like a month.
I just signed a document stating that I would dd all summer if they would go pickup food.
just found out i fit into magnum condums. this is going to be the best weekend ever
His blow is so strong I threw up. Buy it. I'm in nursing school I know what I'm talking about.
just cheers'ed a flock of cattle as i drove past eating a burger i bought 7 hours ago. that high.
I'm going to practice throwing things up the the air and catching them between my boobs, because that seems like a cool party trick.
The creepiest man is serenading me at the bar right now. I had about a quarter of a drink left and the bartender just walked over and filled it with vodka and walked away laughing.
"But puppies!" Is not an acceptable excuse for trying to drunkenly steal someone's dog, you promiscuous midget!!
Your children are clinging to me like my teets are full of bountiful milkiness. They're driving me nuts. I felt my uterus shrivel up.
I told you alcohol was flammable, but you didn't believe me until you tried to extinguish your sparkler by submerging it in vodka and the bottle burst into flames.
Bro i pulled the fucking willy wonkas gold ticket of ratchets the other night this chick was a real treat god bless her
Well, I woke up on a roll-away, with a knot in the back of my head and penis confetti stuck to me. Also, I apparently literally gave the shirt off my back right before I passed out, so I was topless. Vegas won this trip.
i'll talk to you in three hours when you've stopped foaming at the mouth and your eyes have rolled back into place
You would be successful and sober without me. you can't turn your bakon me now
On the brightside we know now that empty pringle cans are accepted at mcdonalds as cups.... Screw people who judged us, we saved a buck
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