We'll see haha. The cum didn't work...I just chewed the whole thing in a day.
I hope you meant gum...
I'm babysitting and we're watching Barney and I don't understand why Barney can magically make band hats appear but he makes them make shitty ass instruments.
Barney's a jerk
There is a mosh pit in our kitchen. You better hurry.
Staying in I think. Boyfriend has domesticated me. I'm making eggs naked right now. Also really high.
Don't use the things I tell you while drunk after the bruins won the cup against me
just let her blow you already, it's practically animal cruelty at this point.
My ex was here I looked him in the eyes when I grabbed some other guy by his belt and dragged him to a room
he pulled a $400 bottle of champagne out of the back part of his toiled and I was ready to blow him then and there
Tonight just try not to threaten to pee on the hot guys buying us drinks....please..
I seem to have forgotten that I am wearing a one piece bathing suit under my clothes
Wrong. I really wanted to see the movie. And she was on top of me like she was riding a mechanical bull. Who am I to complain? I live to serve.
Dude get here. I just re-invented nachos. For real though. They werent real before right now
The guy I screamed at across the bar for booing the Bruins ended up buying me shots I had to explain to him there's not a chance in hell I would ever fuck a Canadian! #Bostonstrong
Very unfortunate to find out the kid who took your virginity has never seen Star Wars🙃
It was just like the old times. We watched movies and shit. But not like old times-i fucked her hot brother when she was in the shower? Times are a'changin.
Randomize
