This is not my ceiling
I told her we could go facebook official. If she ups the oral.
don't you miss dr. quinn: medicine woman? i do.
I wish I could google chicago male strippers on my work computer but I don't feel like talking to HR today
he was so high that he wouldn't speak to anybody for like 30 minutes, he'd only gobble, like a turkey.
it was a 10 min screaming orgasm. i don't care that you were next door and didn't appreciate all the noise.
I guess I gave him a 20 minute play-by-play of the first three sections of R. Kelly's 'trapped in a closet.'
Dude how did you get resin on my keyboard?
It's one of those days where you order the free Papa John's pizza so the delivery guy can bring you Coke to go with your rum. The tip was more than the order.
Mitt romney looks like a fantastic lover (full disclorsure: im 76% vodka right now)
id one day like to live in a world full of emotionless and wonderfully fullfilling sex...
I mean, on what planet are nipples suppose to look like that?
You know, I think I'm going to rock the shit out of this whole mid-twenties thing. Fuck babies and weddings -- I have vodka and young cock.
It's like the drive of shame on fucking Christmas. Happy birthday Jesus
I'm glad I didn't see Grandma stumbling drunk and peeing herself...it would be like seeing my future.
Randomize
