For some reason i am carrying prostate cancer brochures. i am nor used to drinking this early.
He had a curved dick....must be a european thing
Convinced the domino's pizza delivery person to go to shaws and buy me a bottle of wild turkey. For america.
Im otw to class. I was at the Library. Just past three girls with a bottle of tequila playing dizzy bat.
I just woke up to three dick pics. Apparently in my blacked out state. I was asking for them as the new valentines day card.
On a scale of 1-10 how seriously are we considering being sugar babies?
I'm about a 7.95
He just walked up to me in the kitchen, pulled out his penis and stuck it in my sweatpants pocket.
It was probably cold. Sweatpants pockets are notoriously warm.
You're tall, so I have high hopes for your dick.
i just honestly didn't believe you when you said your brother was a fucking clown. ho shit you weren't kidding.
stoners and superglue do NOT mix
So I bought that bathing suit yesterday and got buyers remorse so I returned it today and then stole it. Win win.
I lost a fight last night. By that I mean I head butt the bar and busted my lip open.
last night I used snow as a chaser
He wants to play improv games now whenever he gets drunk. Sometimes I just do not have the energy for that kind of a thing
I need some buff guys to cuddle me and call me precious
Randomize
