OK...I gotta go get strawberry short cake cakes and knee pads
Its way too early to be sitting naked at his dining room table...
90 In a 65. Talked my way out of it with the i have to poop story. i am the ticket jesus
you made me have a moment of silence for the half of a sub sandwich that you dropped on the floor earlier
He likes Jesus. Game over.
Oooh wait, he just told me he was high.
Just called my dad drunk from bed to ask for bacon.. my niece texted me when it was ready.. i'm never moving out
And then he said "if you were planning on bird feeding me that's not ok"
He awkwardly handed me plan b on Pickens Street... it was like a sketchy drug deal.
Told my brother the truth how I meet her...I grabbed the first thing I could when the cops came. 10 months later we are engaged.
Good friends chat about sex - great friends ask about safe words.
WHY HAVE SO MANY THING GONE IN MY BUTT ON THIS TRIP
He found out about your side hoe and still helped you try to find a lizard that got in the house
Stoner thoughts are the only thoughts I want to have now.
I need weed and if he's hot, maybe he can supply me with sex too.
Life is clearly unfair. You remember Courtney has three older sisters, well they're all "make baby sister look like a four" hot. I knew I shouldn't go home with her.
Randomize
