She is in my trunk
he came faster then a bring it on movie goes to dvd
she wouldn't play beer pong with me unless I took off the rollerskates.
We legit stopped the the game so that Jamie and I could throw up in the bushes, and then continue to play intramurals... this is what my life is coming to1
WE'RE FINALLY ADMITTING THAT WE DESPERATELY WANT TO SCREW EACH OTHER. THIS IS WHAT PROGRESS FEELS
Took me 10 minutes of oral to finally get him hard for like 30 seconds of sex until he came and passed out. Def not worth the ROI.
Funny, 'cause his story is it went great. He faked passing out so he wouldn't have to do anything in return.
We were sitting in a hot tub debating how drunk we could get by osmosis if we kept spilling our drinks in it. This is what engineering college does to you.
There are Vine videos that have lasted longer than he did
Thanks for that golden cinnamony goodness that flowed from your fake tits last night haha
The holidays are too long. I always run out of adderall before I run out of family. you got any left?
Oh boy I hope we come out of this alive. And with clean prison records
I'm a dude in a dress, who came to a party with Holly GoLightly, got hit on by Bambi's mom, and wants to do terrible things to Link. Halloween is weird
My drug dealer is giving me a 15% veterans discount on my weed for nov 11th
That's the best thing I've heard all week.
None of what you just said was coherent
I just bought wine at a gas station what the hell do you expect
True college students do jello shots in the library
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