Crying babies in a bar. Really?
And she just changed the baby's diaper on the table. It's killing the beer garden.
At the hair cuttery. A father here with his daughter just answered his phone "ken's whorehouse"...Now I remember why I used to pay more for haircuts.
She is my favorite of all the girls you have fucked. Other than me.
you cant just puke in an arbys and not order food. thatd be rude.
Nuts. Absolutely nuts. she just screamed in my face something about not knowing whats happening and then got tackled by a dude
You should really trust me on this one. "hit it and quit it" might not be the best career move on your part...
You are. Embrace it. But you are the right kind of asshole.
I can feel the judgmental stares of Christians from around the world right now.
I'd go lesbian for $50 and a good phone case.
Let's get matching tattoos, something that resembles our friendship
A tequila worm?
Seriously insulted!! You can not share my dick pick with your gay brother. He won't quit poking me on fb
You blew him?!?!
*Am blowing
And I keep taking breaks to write you back, please stop replying.
Why is no one on Snapchat tonight? I want to see other people having fun so I know it still exists.
You're going to literally shit your fucking unholy pants when Jesus rides in with his dual light-sabers on his velociraptor and cleaves you in half.
Hey I didn't mean to come across like I was judging you about your liberal sexual choices. I would like details of your threesome if you need to talk about it!
Randomize
