The more I sober up, the more sick I am/realize how weird dancing around a wine bottle was
Yes. Hungover. All the boys are going wakeboarding. Boys only. I wish I was a gay guy so I could go wakeboarding but still suck dick.
She said she didn't have time to shave "there"
Then she shouldn't have had time to order the lobster.
I'll name the documentary, "The Adventures of Megan's Vagina"
The one from last night got me a whole floor of Eskimo Brothers. There was a celebration of high fiving as I left
NO YOU'RE NOT. I don't want to hear that SHIT. Jameson appreciation day part 1 is saturday and YOU WILL BE READY.
i'm not even sure i have knees anymore. that awesome.
It's just unfortunate. She's a 28 year old woman who looks as if a pelican and ET had a baby. With braces.
You know you're fucked up when you decide to pour fireball whiskey in your vegetable beef soup
It was super embarrassing when I had to tell my brother, in front of my mother, that my wifi password was Drinkupbitches. Thanks for providing that lovely family moment.
Yeah, first date. First take a pic of him to circulate around for your friends and than have him fill out a short penis questionnaire. Seems completely legit to me.
Yes, if by 'finishing my business' you mean vomiting in her bathtub and losing my watch.
Mashed potatoes are always the fuckin answer ok.
When i said you could use my car and have sex in the back....i wasn't being serious.
we are the best best friends ever. You had sex in an ice cream truck I had sex in a fire truck
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