You ever start fucking a girl and realize she kinda looks like your mom?
You discussed the Arab/Israeli conflict with the guy behind the counter at the Kebab shop telling him you supported his people. He was clearly Asian.
She said to delete the bj video, but I accidentally hit the 'send to her bf' button. My bad
we decided to do a scavenge hunt for ourself for when we walked back to our apartments. We hid taco bell behind some bushes. I think they are still good.
He said he got laid, but you and i both know he was too high to leave his house.
the lady at the gas station just thanked me for wearing clothes this time... i am so confused
Well, I'm off to go seduce a gay man. In 10 years when I'm 300 pounds, sitting in a mumu surrounded by my 500 cats, remind me of this text. That way I can be like "ohhh THERE'S where I went wrong!!"
Hot Damn Cinnamon Schnapps make me feel like the sun is punching me in the face and a bear is sleeping inside me.
Side note, from now on any snap chat I get that isn't interesting enough... Is getting a dick in response. Judge your snaps accordingly
Well the good news is ill probably have my new boobs by the time he sees me naked
My life is literally "I'm too horny you can't leave" or "let's have pie" there's like no inbetween
Stay strong! Remember we're too uncoordinated to be strippers to make money instead of being a nurse
He gave me a back massage while we were fucking.
Did you get that?
WHILE WE WERE FUCKING.
just licked the cheese off a burger. that high.
You ever fart so hard it made you cum a little? A "friend of mine" wanted to know.
Randomize
